The Power of Unlearning Comfort Zones

Last week Phil spoke into our presence a truly profound statement. Many of us clapped when he said it, repeated it and talked into it. But did we really know what he was saying. The statement Phil gave was:

“God loves me as I am.
God saves us as we are.
Therefore, I can stay as I am.”

Hear it again: “God loves me as I am. God saves us as we are. Therefore, I can stay as I am.” When Phil said this, he challenged us on the last part of his statement, the “Therefore, I can say as I am.” He said this was wrong, that in our belief and faith in Jesus we had to let go of our sinful nature. Last week, we all agreed. And if this is right – we should be in agreement that change has to occur. But I think the change that is required is profound. It is a whole change in lifestyle. And it is required of all of us.

Just to give you an illustration of how profound this change can be for us. Imagine if you lost the use of your dominant hand overnight. The next day, your world is profoundly different. You have to write, tie shoe-lacers, cut your meat and just live life with dependence on your ability to make use of something that you are not used to depending on. Think of the difficulty here. Even right now, start to take notes with your pen or on your phone with your dominant hand behind your back. I can pretty much guarantee that only a handful of us could stand the course of this sermon without returning to our dominant hand because it is just so so hard.

When we come to God, we have to change the way in which we see the world. We have to see it through his eyes and heart and not through our sinful human nature. But really, is this really that easy? If you are so used to doing things one way and thinking in one way is it really that easy to completely change the way that you see the world? And if it is not that easy, then what do we need to do so that we can stay on track as we work out the story God has for us?

I am going to say, that it may be easy for some, but for many it is quite difficult. Even if we have had a profound experience of knowing Jesus personally. Even if our name reflects our calling – even if our name in Greek (Petros) or Peter translates into the word rock. You see, the key is, the barrier is, the hardest but most necessary thing to do is, even when we are given a new name, the hardest thing to do is unlearn the old way of seeing the world, our comfort zone world, to relearn a new way of living.

And we see this in the life of Simon, also known as Simon Peter and as Peter. We first meet the Rock, or Peter, in Matthew Chapter 4, verses 18-20:

One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers--Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew--throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. Jesus called out to them, "Come, follow Me, and I will show you how to fish for people!" And they left their nets at once and followed Him.  (Mat 4:18-20)

Now I do not know about you. But reading this in retrospect, when some of us know the story already, doesn’t really allow us to grapple with some of the weird things the Bible throws up at us. I can understand the metaphoric idea Jesus is using saying that brothers will fish for people. But really? Think about how hard this would be for both brothers. Both brothers are used to the hard labour (not to mention smell) of the fishing industry; the fishing industry is not known for its people skills. I was personally raised in a fishing seaport on the West Coast, and the biggest people skill fishermen have there is the ability to raise a pint at the local pub after a good catch.

So, Simon, later called Peter, the fisherman was going to have to change his whole profession. He was going to have to unlearn what it meant to fish in a human sense and relearn this skill in a Kingdom sense. This is not an easy thing to do and he would be bound to make mistakes. He was so use to using his dominant hands for physical fishing, that using his hands for something else would cause him to struggle at times.

The NIV Student Bible describes Peter well:

You can’t miss Peter in the four Gospels. He stands out like a bumpkin, pushing to the head of the line and blurting out loud, outrageous assertions. Every list of disciples has Peter as the first name, and Peter is often seen elbowing his way to centre stage.

He was likable enough, with a big heart and unlimited enthusiasm. He just had too many rough edges. He swung like a pendulum, bold and courageous at one moment yet, cowardly when it really counted.

With a description like this, you got to wonder what was in Jesus’s head when he gave Simon a new name especially as the flip-flop nature of Simon would see him hearing from God but giving into his human nature within the same conversation. He definitely doesn’t come across as a rock in any way shape or form:

Mathew 16: 13-23: When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" "Well," they replied, "some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say Jeremiah or one of the other prophets." Then He asked them, "But who do you say I am?" Simon Peter answered, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." Jesus replied, "You are blessed, Simon son of John, because My Father in heaven has revealed this to you. You did not learn this from any human being. Now I say to you that you are Peter (which means 'rock'), and upon this rock I will build My church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it. And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven." Then He sternly warned the disciples not to tell anyone that He was the Messiah. From then on Jesus began to tell His disciples plainly that it was necessary for Him to go to Jerusalem, and that He would suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but on the third day He would be raised from the dead. But Peter took Him aside and began to reprimand Him for saying such things. "Heaven forbid, Lord," he said. "This will never happen to You!" Jesus turned to Peter and said, "Get away from Me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to Me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God's."

Here is another set of verses with great irony. Jesus speaks to Simon and tells him that he is blessed because he has listened to the Father in heaven. And as such, he will be given the name Rock. It will be on this rock that the church is built. Jesus then goes onto a conversation he has often with his disciples – that of his own death. Peter or the Rock, pulls Jesus aside to tell him off and correct him. Now Jesus is calling him Satan because he is seeing things from a human point of view. You see Peter here in the real moment of slipping slowly into his learnt comfort zone. Peter’s ability to see Jesus through the eyes of the Father has meant he has unlearnt the way that he sees the world. But it is hard for Peter to stay in this place and he slowly reverts back to his learnt comfort zone of seeing the world through his own eyes.

The Rock was no perfect disciple. And this plays out right until the Cross itself when the Rock stands solid and tells his master Jesus, I will not deny you by any means. But what happens, the Rock crumbles, not one but three times and denies having any relationship whatsoever with Christ. Then, in his last act in the Gospel, he takes up a sword to protect Jesus, cutting off a soldier’s ear. Jesus is quick to correct him – those that live by the sword die by the sword. Simon has yet to learn how to let go of his rough and tough fisherman ways to really follow his Lord and Saviour. Peter has yet to unlearn the ways of Simon and relearn his destined role of being Peter.

The story of the Rock, of Peter, is a story that most, if not all of us can relate to. Peter is not perfect. At times he comes across as an idiot. Those of us as outsiders reading the story find ourselves saying – why did you say that? Why did you lose faith here? Why did you do that? Peter you had Jesus with you! Gees you are a bumpkin aren’t you!  But we are all bumpkins. We all do the Peter and say one thing but find ourselves doing another. It is so hard to follow Jesus especially when we have to unlearn our comfort zone of understanding and habits.

There is a reason why following Jesus is hard. It is not because of the things we have to do but in that the simple act of following Jesus requires one thing from us. We have to step outside of our learnt comfort zones, our human nature. This was the first act that Jesus required of Peter – Peter follow me, and I will make you fish men. Following Jesus is discomforting to us all at times because it requires us to say no to our human point of view and see the world through God’s point of view. We have to see ourselves through God’s point of view and see others through God’s point of view.

I really want to dig in here to this concept of learnt comfort zone and give you some real physical examples. One of which is this valley. The valley of Wainuiomata is a comfort zone to many of us. Some of us dread going over the hill, even if we have to. It feels more secure, not safer, but secure and certain in the valley because we know what to expect and we have our homes here. We have learnt an aspect of security in our comfort zone which needs to be challenged.  

A second example, which relates to Peter, is work. Our professions create learnt comfort zones for us. I loved it a few weeks ago listening to a testimony being shared here on this as I too are going through a season of change in work. Ron talked to us about being a trained accountant and the challenge he got from God to move from being a back-office worker to a person who worked directly with people in the real estate industry. He had to unlearn his ability to work with, and for, people. That move required a challenge to Ron to move outside of his comfort zone into another job; he had to relearn a new way of living. For some, like my mining friends on the West Coast, often a loss of job really throws you as every aspect of who you think you are is thrown up in the air.

Biblically we find two strong examples of learnt comfort zones. The first is in the story of Israel and their failure to truly step into the promise God had for them. We read stories in which the people cry out to return to Egypt. We read prophecies in which the people are warned to repent and follow their God. But again, and again we read about a “stiff-necked” people who refuse to change and unlearn their traditional understandings and ways. They always want to hold onto something of the past as it gives them comfort and assurance. In fact, the words “stiff-necked” feature 19 times in the Bible. 18 of which in the Hebrew books with the outliner being used in Acts to talk about the people of Israel.

The second is in an understanding of the concept of learning. Throughout the Gospels and later in the Revelation of John there is a common phrase “those who have ears, let him hear”. Now you might think that this phrase has nothing to do with learnt comfort zones. But a keyway we keep ourselves comfortable is in only allowing ourselves to be challenged by the things that align with our own personal feelings and perspectives.

To really listen is to have our hearts and ears open for messages that make us uncomfortable. It is not to treat everything we hear as equal and as truth, but it is allowing the voices and perspectives of others to truly challenge ourselves. It is to know that we are not always right and that maybe, just maybe, the story, the parable, the testimony has a challenge for us that will make us uncomfortable to the point that we are prepared to unlearn our traditional understandings and ways.

So to walk with Jesus requires us to step outside of our comfort zone and unlearn to relearn.  And to do this, requires us to do something that Jesus encourages us to do. We must humble ourselves as children. And if you think about it – children are very good at stepping outside of comfort zones sometimes to terrifying levels as we try to hold them back to protect them from the world. It seems that as we get older, our comfort zone is tighter and more confined. It is probably not too bold for me to say, but as we get older the drive over the hill gets harder and harder. This is the comfort zone effect.

It is also a natural effect of getting older. We do become more stiff-necked; we do become more selective in the knowledge that we hold as truth outside of the Bible. And we need to challenge this. We need to be prepared to unlearn the comfortable in order to relearn God’s story for us.

You see, I don’t want to get too technical here, but it might give some real sense as to where this message is heading. You see, we all have these things called brains. And the science of brains has been able to tell some key lessons. One of which is that we have two periods of time when the brain experiences significant growth – the first is in the first two years, and the second is during adolescence. Knowing this alone can help us know why it is important to ensure that our babies are exposed to the right foods and environments. It can also explain why we get up to so much mischief as teenagers – always testing boundaries and challenging the status quo. Brain scientists talk about the young brain being elastic and flexible in its learning capabilities. You hear this in worlds like ‘neuro-plasticity’ and ‘plastic’.

Compared to the young brain, for us oldies, the brain slowly becomes less and less elastic. It becomes more rigid in fact as we enter into our 30s. So, we do become set in our ways. And, we do run the risk of becoming stiff-necked and close-minded. But we don’t have to.

But understanding the story of the brain can help us understand some key underpinnings in the Bible. If you look at the stories that we love to teach our children – they are often of young people who are prepared to challenge the status quo and the comfort zone of Israel and unlearn to reset their ways or they are of people who God has clearly had a hand on them since birth and are prepared to challenge others to unlearn their comfort zone to relearn another way. It is as if God needs the elastic brain of youth to bring radical change.

But we do have stories of adults as well who take the challenge to completing change their lives. We have the radical conversion of Paul (who talks about his own thorn in his side) and we have the bumbling disciples. Peter is one of these. If you take the brief science lesson of brain development and then Peter’s story, the bumbles along the way make more sense. He has been set in his ways as a fisherman. The picking up of his own cross to follow Jesus has difficulties because he has to learn new things and unlearn the old. And as Phil noted last week, Peter struggled later on to understand fully the grace of God in place of the Torah or law of God. Peter struggled, but Peter would also accept a challenge.

And this is key. Peter is a real learner when it comes to being a disciple. He is not afraid to give things ago and unlearn the past. He is not afraid to walk on water, even if fear cripples him at a point; even then he asks Christ for help. He is not afraid to ask Jesus what a parable means, even if it means that 200 years later people with hindsight wonder why he didn’t get it in the first place. He is not afraid to admit it when he gets something wrong.

These are key lessons for us here today. If we feel the call of God to do something different, something radical, are we prepared to give it a go, unlearn to relearn? Are we prepared to ask for help when we need it from each other and from the Father? If we sit in confusion, are we prepared to ask for meaning even if others think us a fool? Most of all are we prepared to admit it to others that we mucked up and got something wrong.

Believe it or not, if Peter as an adult was to have a brain scan. Scientists would remark on how elastic his brain was for his age. We know now, thanks to brain science, that the keyway to keep our brain outside of a comfort zone mentality is to keep it unlearning and relearning. Peter knew that he had the knowledge of the truth of Jesus but he did not have full understanding and this would take an unlearning of his world.

For Peter like for many of us, when we try to walk in the knowledge of the gospel truth, but we don’t have a full understanding of what it means and stay limited to our own comfort zones then it feels like this:

Okay, bringing this back to this space and place. When we are called to follow Jesus, we are called to get out of our learnt comfort zone. This requires us to change the way that we see ourselves, each other and the world. It requires us to change the way we interact with ourselves, each other and the world. This is true. To follow Jesus means you have to see and do things differently; you have to be prepared to feel at times that you are using your less dominant hand or are using a backwards bicycle. You have to be prepared to go back to the key message Jesus gave Peter in Mathew 16:23 we have to stop seeing things “merely from a human point of view” and start seeing things from God’s point of view.

To give you a bit of a story. Years ago, as a teenager I had to leave my home permanently because my life was at risk. I had become a Christian and so the church supported me by finding homes for me to stay in. I felt that my childhood, which was not a happy one, was what defined me, and I carried it.

And I mean I carried it. I remember one place that I lived in, I was challenged. A good friend of my said to me – do you realise that you carry a darkness around you and that every time you walk into a room you bring the room down. I didn’t realise this. I had thought that it was my story of rejection which meant that others in the church would love me. I was scared that if I let that story go, then the church would reject me. Fortunately, I was a teenager then, so it was a lot quicker to take the cloak of darkness off my back. I could unlearn and relearn how to relate to others just because of my age.

However, as an adult, and as many of you know, I experienced crippling PTSD and major depressive disorder. I was very suicidal and was an absolute mess. I had years of therapy. And, years ago, I even tried to heal myself by returning to worship but I didn’t last a month in the worship team, I was so lost. I was in the worst of places. During this time, a therapist said to me that I did not need to be in therapy forever. That some people would struggle with mental illness all their lives, but I had a choice. I couldn’t find this choice, even as a Christian. As things were so bad, I accepted the fact that God had created me as a victim. It was the story I had learnt to live.

Later, I was in church and Carl Dickson was preaching about healing. He had been going through his own journey and had not received the healing that he originally asked for. He later asked the church for testimonies of healing. It was the first time in years that I was sitting in the auditorium. At that point, the spirit prompted me to declare that I had been healed from my illness. I did that and realised right then that God does not create victims. He creates opportunities for victims to become overcomers. From that point I had to relearn my story through God’s eyes. It has been a hard journey, and even this year, with dramas at work and home I have had moments when my old story and worldview were tempting to grasp onto again.

Those of you who know me, will know that this has not been a perfect journey. But when I compare my journey to Peter’s. I am thankful that God walked alongside Peter. He did become the rock on which the church was built. His letters testify to this. He did enable the church to stand strong under persecution. He would die at the cross as well. Hung upside down on a cross in Rome – martyred for his faith.

Over the last few weeks we have heard a lot about stepping into the promise that God has for us and challenging the views that we have of ourselves. God used Peter. The first words Jesus spoke to Peter were “Come, follow me” (Mark 1:17). The last words he spoke to Mark were “You must follow me” (John 21:22). Are we each prepared to follow Jesus, even if it requires us to step out of our learnt comfort zones unlearn out understandings of ourselves and others and our habits and relearn a new way of living and seeing ourselves each other? Are we prepared to elastify our brains for God?