The Comfort Zone

We all have it; that space that is the fine line between comfort and challenge; where our lives go through so much change and uncertainty, we don’t want to be on the line, we don’t even what to be in the challenge. We need comfort because at least in uncertainty, there is some comfort of assurance in our comfort zone. Our comfort zone may be family, some ritual activity that we don’t want to give up, or it may be just the certainty that staying in our current zone of geography will not bring additional challenge. In this space, we know that there is never one hundred percent assurance; however, in times of uncertainty, we can try to keep ourselves balanced by at least trying to assert control.

I have spent near to a decade working on one of the most amazing programmes in the world – youth development, or as we proudly assert #BYD4life. It has been my dream job as I was able to be an activist, academic, agent for change and advocate for the learning of our students. But, last year I decided to step out of this comfort zone; at least for a while. I took the management challenge on. Part of me didn’t want to; my family is very working class, we are use to managers ‘crapping on us’. We are use to managers making hard decisions in times of stress to save their jobs and put the pressure on the plebs, or the workers, to make a difference. But I didn’t see the Head of School role as a managerial position. I saw it as a chance to lead as an academic leader. I could really make a difference, even in a time of stress and change. I had begun to push at the edges of my comfort zone and, to be honest, it was enjoyable. You see, you do not grow in your comfort zone. It is a static place, that is so why we like it. It is in the challenge that you grow, not in the comfort.

However, once 2019 hit, it was clear. More changes would be needed in my sector in order to prepare for future changes and challenges. You see while I was in my challenge zone, I could still see the lines of my comfort zone. To me this gave me some security in my challenge. But that line was going to move.

2019 would see this line move in two ways. The first was in a good way. Others might not see it as this, but I do. In order to make ourselves fit for 2020, my workplace looked at making cuts to the managerial layer. While I may still be here in the future, it is my decision to rest in the possibility that this season is ending. I am now at the crossroads that occurs when your position, along with others, is disestablished, I can choose where I go, to the left or to the right. I can chose to stop and wait and I can chose to step back. I won’t be choosing that.

The second change was a deeply challenging one. I was to journey with a young friend, colleague and mentor to the United States. This is a complete pick up and shift out of my comfort zone. I would not be with family and worse, I would have to experience LAX and O’Hare Chicago International Airport. Even worse, one flight is 16 hours straight in the air, no stops, but if you were to add those in, well that makes it a near 24 hour flight over three days (due to time zone shifting).

This flight would take me to the International Congress of Qualitative Inquiry (for those of us not use to ivory tower speak, this translates into the Nerds Come Together to Talk About Storytelling in Research). Given the changes that were happening within my workplace, I just didn’t want to go. Not only would I have to endure the challenge, the real challenge, of being out of my geographical comfort zone (always having to remember to not lose my passport), I would have to also endure an identity crisis.

Given that I am no longer a university lecturer or even, the perceived lesser, of a polytechnic tutor, could I really go to this type of big-wig conference? Especially if the world’s top expert in qualitative research was leading it (Norman Denzin) and I, a NZ Pakeha, was representing an indigenous project with an amazing up and coming researcher, Hine Funaki who can claim this space loud and proud. She really didn't need me to support her as her mana and her ancestors go before her.

And in all this, the words of my youth sector friends were ringing in my ears, when my journey with WelTec and Whitireia closes, I will need to pause. After all, they would tell me, it is in the pause that I will find what is lost. And this conference was such a pause, but a pause in the worst place possible, an indigenous circle at an international conference in the United States of America. And, in a town, which only tourist attraction is … the university. I was trapped, no museum of real attraction, the celebrated history is that of a university; with a forgotten history only revealed in spaces like the conference. I had to attend the conference.

I was well and truly out of my comfort zone. The line between comfort and challenge could no  longer be seen. This space was one of sink or swim and I had no energy to swim.

So as I paused, I did not find what I lost at first, I found with deep sadness what I had become. The last few years have been so hard that I have pushed ahead no matter what. I have forgot to take life West Coast styles and simply ‘chill’. My headspace of pushing ahead was excluding and pushing out others. It stopped others sharing my space. It stopped others journeying with me and growing with me. I had gone into a zone of self-protection. If a door opened and I needed to make my way through it, I would push ahead not caring for the person in front struggling to make a step forward.

To be honest, I had become greedy and self-centred in order to protect myself from the hurts of change.

I had become selfish in an attempt to not lose myself. But I did lose myself. This is what my friends were getting at. I had to be out of my comfort zone to see this. I had to be challenged by my colleagues, by Hine returning to the hotel one evening who simply knew we were not ready to present with my pushing-ahead behaviours.

I had to experience the rich and warm hospitality of the American people I met. The attitude of each person to me to apologise if they had failed to open a door for me; to show deep appreciation for a thanks; and to be prepared to live by the motto of ‘any thing can be returned, no questions asked, and a refund will be given with a smile.’ America is not perfect. We all know this and in Aotearoa we are quick to remind Americans of this. But the people, the working people, who probably can't afford to come to Aotearoa, wow they know how to teach you a lesson in appreciation.

I had to go through this journey at an academic conference of all things. I had to find that in my challenge zone, there will always be a space of comfort, and I found it at this conference. I have never been to an academic conference where tears have flown deeply in rooms as presenters share their hearts.

Hear me here, this did not occur in all presentations and my first challenge was, once I realised what I had lost and had become, I had to find comfort in the waiting time of the struggle. So I decided to go to presentations from those academics that had impacted my journey. I sat through the presentations and I felt uneasy. I could understand the language and the arguments, but I realised that this type of academia was not my home.

I felt so lost because I am at these crossroads and if I have to decide to return to university education, can I? Well, I felt, no I could not. You see I have to be real to the people that engage in my work. I know the big words yes, but I do not want to use them to belittle others, especially when a big word like epistemology can have a simple word replace it with just as much meaning, worldview? To be honest, I do not want to be a 'tosser' academic striving for positions and a fan club. I do not want to have to play the game.

I left these presentations sad and angry. Sad that part of my future has been decided by myself, to not return to the ivory tower of language and big words. Angry, that a key role of academics is to be a social critic of society, but how can we if society doesn’t understand what we say? Added to this, and deep to my being, how can we be a social critic if we stand above our people and not with our people?

And then I decided to follow my heart. I decided to go to a presentation that involved spoken words from some Pacific academics from New Zealand. It was here that my heart really heard my reality. I do not want to return to a mundane job. I want to be in positions that make real difference, not for others, but with others. This decision does not determine the who I will be in the future, but it does determine the course of my future. I will continue to be an advocate for change and I will not speak a language that cannot be understood.

Part of this realisation came through a key group within the conference called the Indigenous Circle. This is a group that represents indigenous peoples and their allies. People who understand that impact of colonisation that continues to tear apart our communities today. This group slowly got to know me and as the conference continued, they embraced me in ways that I could never imagine.  It was like they saw my heart but wanted to know it was genuine. By the end of the conference this became apparent as members came to me to hug me before they left for home and one member gave me a piece of carved coal. I even found soul mates in allies who had come from working class backgrounds in France and Ireland. It was special to be able to talk bollocks with those that know what bollocks is and to question the need to put Derrida and Foucault on Pillars when they were writing in their own context.

So back to reality.

My grandfather carved coal. My grandparents on both sides believed in justice and I know that they continue to stand with me proud. They may have passed but they were at my graduation and present in my wedding vowels. They were present at this conference. They have reminded me deeply, we will always be challenged to move outside of our comfort zone. We must embrace this challenge. We must remember that those before us, once stepped outside of their comfort zone. And, even though we don’t see the line of comfort in the challenge, if we close our eyes, we will feel the presence of those before us. We will feel the presence of our faith and we can be assured, growth can only happen in the challenge, but the challenge does not have to hurt if we rub our feet into the soil and feel those who stand with us.

I return to Aotearoa knowing that my work for social justice will continue. I return knowing that this is what I am to look for in future opportunities. I return hopeful and I return with massive thanks to my colleagues Associate Professor Joanna Kidman for making this opportunity, near 'Full Professor' Hine Funaki for joining me and being part of the challenge and superhero Pine Southon for making it all work.

Aotearoa - I am coming back to you, my home, now. Thank you America, thank you to my new friends.

What do we do with the 43%

Teddy - A Memory with a Special Story

Tene koutou, tene koutou, tene tatou katoa

So whanau, for those of you who have been journeying with us regularly, are you ready to dive straight into the book of Mark?

Brilliant, okay, let’s go. Turn with me to Ruth 1, verses 16-17. The book that is just before Kings in the Old Testament where we are introduced to one of the mighty women in the whakapapa of Jesus.

"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from following you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

These powerful words can be found in the book of Ruth as she swears an oath to always be with Naomi and to walk in the ways of Naomi, even if that involved following a foreign God.

When Eric and I got married, on two separate occasions, we wrote our own vowels to each other, I chose these words. To me they are so powerful as they tell us about a promise relationship, when we commit ourselves to each other to live with each other no matter what. It is this promise relationship that God has sworn over us – one that is exemplified at the cross, where he became broken for us, to carry our brokenness and bring us healing. The Biblical word for a promise relationship is covenant. And, it should not be broken.

"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from following you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

Folks, we live in a world of broken promises. We live in a world where it is okay to speak the words but walk another way. We make promises to each other that we just don’t have to keep because it is okay to take any reason to break a promise. You have probably guessed it, but I have really felt prompted as we journey into Mark, to preach on something really tricky today.

The passage I have been given in Mark to share from is Chapter 10, verses 1-32. And the verses start with a topic that is all too real today.  Now, as a team, we are encouraged to pray into what God wants us to share. And as I prayed and prepared into this week’s message, I felt a prompting to talk into the topic that Jesus is challenged on by the Pharisees. Because you see there is danger in these verses; and, yes, the word of God is dangerous, you can’t have an upside-down Kingdom without putting the current status quo into danger. There is danger in these verses, as they challenge us and remind us of the power of promise relationships, and, at times, they have been used to condemn others, and,  at times, they have become verses of self-condemnation; but if we were to read these verses with the heart of God, we would see that they speak first into the brokenness of this world, they speak so much into it, and they also speak into the profound love of a God – who says to us “where you go, I will go” even if it means going into the pits of hell to save you.

From there he went to the area of Judea across the Jordan. A crowd of people, as was so often the case, went along, and he, as he so often did, taught them. Pharisees came up, intending to give him a hard time. They asked, "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife?" Jesus said, "What did Moses command?" They answered, "Moses gave permission to fill out a certificate of dismissal and divorce her." Jesus said, "Moses wrote this command only as a concession to your hardhearted ways. In the original creation, God made male and female to be together. Because of this, a man leaves father and mother, and in marriage he becomes one flesh with a woman--no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart." When they were back home, the disciples brought it up again.  (Mar 10:1-10)

Whanau, today I am going to talk into the topic of divorce. The topic that Jesus is confronted with here. Before we even start I want you to know the key points of this message:

1)     God’s desire is for each of us to recognise that the important of promise relationships, sealed with an oath, are deeply a part of who we each are as humans; 

2)     Relationships of promise are not based on a feeling of love and choice; 

3)     When things are so difficult that the only option is separation, the pain is real, and the brokenness is real too; 

4)     And hear me here, God’s condemnation does not sit in this brokenness; 

5)     As a church, as the Bride of Christ in preparation for the wedding, we have to respond to the brokenness that is occurring in our society today.

And at this point, while I am not going to venture too much further into the verses of Mark 10:1-32, I will capture some of the themes as I share a spoken word, or poem, of the experience being in amongst divorce, in a situation that divorce was called for – it was the only choice, unfortunately it was the right choice, for my parents to make. But the brokenness and the pain for all of us, my parents, my sister and I, was, and still is, still real.

I was only four
I was only four and I remember the fights
Frypans, fists and words
Thrown around the house
Bruises, blood and hurt
It wasn't a safe home for anyone
But I loved them both
I dreamed of becoming a nurse like my mum
I dreamed of hunting big stags with dad
Then one day dad would break his back at work
And while he stayed in Rotorua hospital mum would care for us in Turangi
She had just won a battle with cancer which would leave her at a loss
She would soon lose her battle to save her marriage

I was only four
I was only four and I remember the waiting
I loved my cowboy granddad but I wanted my dad
Each day I would wait for dad
I would go to the end of the driveway after breakfast
Grandma would get bring me in for lunch
I would go to the end of the driveway after lunch
Granddad would get me for tea
I would wait for  my father to return
My dad, my hero - I missed his hugs
The Bible tells us in Mark that  in marriage two become “one flesh”
For me, at four, I didn't know that; but something was wrong
I lived with a mum that saw my father in me and struggled
I felt the rejection of a father who forgot my birthday and struggled to save the $800 needed to
bring a child from the West Coast to the Bay of Plenty
Now, even as an adult, the pain of divorce is real for all of us.

I was only six
I was only six and the only bus service in Westport was the Salvation Army
Every Sunday it would come around the state housing block
All of us kids wanted a free ride on the bus
And at Sunday school more money went out of the tiding plate than in
It was like the feeding of the five thousand West Coast State Housing styles.

I was only six
I was only six when I heard the words of Mark "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to them''
These words washed over the rejection of divorce I felt
There was a Father and Son who cared
I wasn't thought about in divorce but I was thought about in the words of Jesus.
I understood that kids have no place in divorce  - I was last, but at that moment in the Salvation Army I was first.

I was only sixteen
I was only sixteen when I gave my life to Christ
And I read the words of hope in Mark "everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or
mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News will receive in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters mothers, children, and property...”
I didn't read "along with persecution”  because these words gave me an excuse
I could now reject my family and have Christ in return

I was only in my twenties
I was only in my twenties when I was challenged by God
To honor God is to honour my father and my mother
To honour God is not to find the parent to blame
To honour God is to understand that divorce is a condition of our broken world
If my parents stayed together, one would have died
My childhood fantasy story was just that – a fantasy
But Jesus does love all the children of the world – even children of brokenness
And when a relationship of promise has to be broken, we all become broken
The pain is real, and in the upside down Kingdom, some healing can begin

Here’s some figures for you. Currently in Aotearoa New Zealand, 43% of all marriages end in divorce. That means that four out of every ten marriages break up. That is close to half of all marriages. And there is even research on divorce now. Researchers, Richard Rahe (Ray) and Thomas Holmes created researched the most distressing life events that can happen to people. They were interested in both the emotional stress of these events and the physical effects. They found that divorce and martial separation feature in the top three, just after the death of a spouse.

What does this mean, for any one here who has had to make the hard decision of separation or divorce, the pain that you have felt, the physical distress you have endured, it is real. It is not something you can easily get over. What you have gone through in terms of turmoil and brokenness inside yourself is normal. It is not something that you dreamed up. And, if you have had to make this decision as a Christian couple, it has been hard as well.  And if you are, or were, a kid in this it is okay, feeling like rubbish is normal. Your confusion is real.

And this is why we have to recognise that first key point I mentioned, God’s desire is for each of us to recognise that the important of promise relationships, sealed with an oath, are deeply a part of who we each are as humans. When we find ourselves in the pain and trauma of the decision of breaking up, we have to ask ourselves why? We live in a society of choice, why is the pain so real?

I really believe, that the relationship of promise God has for each of us is imprinted on our hearts. But I believe we are a deeply spiritual species. And as deeply spiritual, our spirit cries out – relationship is central to who we are. And we know deeply within ourselves, that a promise relationship sealed with an oath should not be broken. We know that as we lay with our partner, two become one and we feel the pain of the father when we separate.

So, church, this is why it is so important that we journey together. We need to carry each other. We need to be intentional in our church relationships, so that we are there for each other before everything turns to custard and there is no other choice. Church for us, to demonstrate Kingdom living, is to find ways to support each other so that families can ride through the hard times rather than find the vehicles they are on derailing all-together.

And this takes us to the second point, Relationships of promise are not based on a feeling of love and choice. Dr George Blair-West is an Australian psychiatrist on a mission. He is not a Christian, but he has worked in the field of relationships for so long that he knows the effects of divorce and separation. His aim is to see divorce no longer a condition of our contemporary society. Dr Blair-West points out that the high divorce rates of today are based on a contemporary idea of marriage.

He notes that divorce rates really started to shoot up from the late 1960s, and he says this is because we have based our relationship decisions on feelings and emotions. He calls contemporary marriages – love marriages. He notes that laws were changed in western countries like Aotearoa NZ in the 1960s to enable divorce to be based on no rational decision at all, you could divorce, simply because the romance had died off. He points out that before the 1960s, marriages weren’t happier than they are today, but people were committed to each other because marriage was a promise relationship sealed with an oath.

Often the times that Jesus walked in were so much different to today, and often we as preachers and teachers talk into this difference. But when it comes to divorce, the times of Jesus and the times of today are very much the same. When the Pharisees were trying to trip Jesus up with the Law, they were very much trying to justify their mis-use of the scriptures of Moses in Deuteronomy 24: 1-2. Moses did set out conditions for divorce, but these conditions were designed to protect a wife in the situation that a husband divorced her and she was not in the wrong. By the time of Jesus, these scriptures were used to justify any context for divorce.

So, we need to see that love is not a feeling, it is a verb that involves commitment. There will be times when the romance is not there, and we have to soldier on. As a church we need to work proactively with each other in ‘prevention mode’ so that all of us are supported in these tough times. But we also have to recognise that there will be times, just as Moses did, when separation has to occur. And we have to be there for the 43% of the families who experience divorce – for the children and the parents. Because God’s condemnation does not sit in this brokenness, the response of his heart does. So how can we respond to this brokenness?

The answer here is demonstrated in the one key action of the Father and the Son. The Father’s key response to our brokenness was to send his only son. And he didn’t just send his son to die for us. That is one aspect yes. But if the death and resurrection of Christ was the only response to our brokenness our gospels will be much shorter; and given that Mark is very light on this part of the ministry of Christ, we would not be reading Mark today. One of the key actions demonstrated by Jesus in the bulk of the gospels is that he came here, to this earth, to have an intentional relationship with us. Not just any relationship, he came to have an intentional one. This relationship would be one of love and compassion and it would demonstrate the Kingdom of Christ on this earth right now. This needs to be our response to the brokenness right now. It is the same response we need to have to the prevention aspect as well. We need to grab hold of our relationships with each other and build the intentional right now. There are three ways that we can do this. We can intentionally give time to others. We can intentionally open our lives to others. And, we can intentionally give to others.

Grandparents are a great example of the intentional giving of time. Many of us have had the joy of grandparents – the heroes in our lives, storytellers and cool babysitters. I have been very privileged myself to have amazing grandparents. But some of us, and some of our children don’t. So, how can we sit in the gap? A couple of weeks ago I was out-of-the-blue invited to be an honoury grandchild and to be taken on my own train trip. On the day I realised that while Christians are part of my life everywhere, I had not intentionally spent time with a fellow Christian until that day for at least two years outside of movies with Andy. My life had just got so busy. We got to talk about God, we were able to acknowledge his greatness and, in that, bless each other. Please friends, if you have planned to give time to someone and haven’t yet – do it. Time is too short to miss the opportunity of intentionally giving time.

So what about the intentional opening our lives to others. I grew up in the State Housing Block of Westport. The State Housing Block in Westport had an interesting culture. All of our neighbours were Aunties and Uncles, even if they were not related. We were taught to respect all adults as family. And these adults became our family. And after school, if there was no food in my house, there would be in one of my aunties. Many of us in church open our homes and our lives. We need to intentionally keep doing things together as a church that involve us coming together. Whether it be a family day, life group or shared occasions, the more we intentionally open our lives to each other, the more we can start to prevent and speak into the brokenness.

We need to intentionally give to others. Out of brokenness can come some real stories of hope. When my family lived in Turangi, my father was working for the prison service. He would often bring me home gifts – my favourite were all the keys. I kept these for many years – especially when I realised that they could open many doors. The keys are gone in an act of repentance, but there is only one gift that remains. It is this hard, solid leather bear. I never remember it with ears – I dragged it around everywhere and the ears broke off. Later the arms broke off but my Grandfather fixed it with curtain wire. I never knew where this bear came from until recently when talking with my dad. My bear was made for me especially by a prisoner serving time. He would never see his children again and he made the bear for a child he had heard about through my dad. He loved his child so much he wanted to express it. This bear is the love of this prisoner to his child – through the expression of love to another child. It is the love that Jesus calls us to. It is giving without  without conditions or knowledge of the recipient of the gift. It is the giving of the cross.

No rei ra

Church, we need to intentionally respond to the 43%. We need to be a space of prevention. We need to be a space of healing. We need to be a place of non-condemnation.  We need to remember that:

1)     God’s desire is for each of us to recognise that the important of promise relationships, sealed with an oath, are deeply a part of who we each are as humans;

2)     Relationships of promise are not based on a feeling of love and choice;

3)     When things are so difficult that the only option is separation, the pain is real, and the brokenness is real too;

4)     And hear me here, God’s condemnation does not sit in this brokenness;

5)     As a church, as the Bride of Christ in preparation for the wedding, we have to respond to the brokenness that is occurring in our society today.

And I think this is an opportunity. [guide only now] I know right here, right now, today there are people still in pain. There are fathers, mothers, children, wives and husbands who have felt the emotional and physical effects and still experience it today. Come to the cross and lay down this burden from your heart. There may be some families who are struggling and there is still hope, please, you can come up the front, but I would encourage you to talk to our elders, seek counsel, and intentionally walk with our leaders and other families through this time. The love of the cross is real, I really believe the only real healing that comes from separation is to be joined with Jesus, not just at the cross, but after the cross, in his resurrection where he again intentionally returned to demonstrate to us all that there is hope, there is hope even after the darkest of times.

No rei ra

Tene koutou, Tene koutou Tene koutou katoa

Judge Not the Bible a Children's Book

Judge Not the Bible a Children’s Book 

Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena tatau katoa 

Picture this – five great houses. And yes, they were called houses. But let’s change their names to colours that we all recognise – red, green, orange, yellow and blue. Each of these houses wanted dominance in the world and they would do anything to get it. They wanted their leader to be a king of a global empire.  

Over the course of history, each house would try to dominate through a trade of their children and contracts written up through marriage and the guarantee of a son. This often meant that children were not seen as gifts but as commodities to be traded for global dominance. Within each house, corruption was widespread. 

Affairs, acts of sexual depravity, underhanded trading and indulgence to excess were everyday occurrences. 

But as history rode the course of time, impatience settled into each house and each started to plan for a war that would throw the world into a deep and dark winter. The House of Red played the first card for dominance by creating a Treaty of alliance with the House of Green. But the real card was played by the House of Orange. A loyal group set out on behalf of Orange and killed the leader of the House of Green in a brutal slaying on a public street. It didn’t take long for the House of Red to come to Green’s protection. And the House of Blue saw an opportunity to destroy the House of Yellow in the chaos that ensued.  

And this chaos would last for more than one winter. And only one House would survive – the House of Blue but the empire of that house would no longer look to it as a monarch ruling a global world. Instead, the monarch became a touring piece and a thing for gossip and mystery. But the House of Blue had a deep and dark secret. Its cousins were the House of Red – the bad guys in the story. So, the House of Blue had to find a way to hide that secret away. 

This story is not one of a popular television series. This story is our history. This is the story of a war that people thought would end all wars. This is the story of the first world war. The House of Blue. The House that would win, was the House of Saxon-Coberg and Gotha. But after the war, they changed their name to the House of Windsor because it sounds more English than the German Saxon-Coberg and Gotha. 

In the history of the Christianity, the First World War serves as a very valuable lesson. It shows us, humanity, in a brutal reality when we forget our true King God and we put ourselves in his place. War settles in. Not the war of children’s books, not the war of movies and television series. But the brutal reality of blood, broken bodies and the tears of grieving families. This hit my family earlier this year when we found a set of postcards kept by my grandfather. Four sons, one sister not pictured, a father and a mother waiting in Aussie for them to come home. Only one returned. And each card sent to a friend of my family tells of another never to be seen again. War settles in; chaos settles in when we try to take God out of the picture. 

What grieves me is this. As a Christian and as an academic, I am often asked, well to be honest, it is often demanded of me to give a response, to how our God, a God of love could allow the horrors of last century.  I get reminded that many wars, are wars of faith and religion. And I feel that if I don’t have a response then I am letting my God down. Now the easy response to last Century was that God was not in those wars. It is true that many Christians fought, many even objected, but the wars of last Century were not holy wars. They were wars of nations who wanted dominance, manmade technologies and scientific advancement.  

And it is no surprise, a famous philosopher Fredrich Nietzche declared in the late 1800s that God was dead. While we all agree here that God is very much alive, humanity with all its brains (or lack of them) and technology was set on a course of self-destruction. That is the story of our history and it remains the story of today. 

Our world is so broken, much of this I have spoken into before, we have the highest youth suicide rate in the world, which, within our country, is topped per capita by the suicide rate of our elderly people. We have horror statistics in sexual violence, child abuse and domestic violence. In our world, the space of Syria, where the first world war started, conflict continues. To be honest, the first world war for that nation never ended and its beginning stems back centuries. I can understand why the people are so broken. 

So when people come to me and ask – where is God in all this? You tell me, he is a God of love, but where is he? What does your Bible tell us about conflict, hate, violence, abuse, rape, suicide? Your holy book says nothing, they tell me. Your holy book is full of holes when it comes to understanding God and humanity. Maybe they are right, especially if I treat the stories of my Bible as Sunday School lessons for little children. Golden Books, like this, David and Goliath, where little David, a very Pakeha/European looking kid takes on Goliath who looks a little more mid-eastern, perhaps even more Jewish than David in the story.  David, whose clothes are perfectly clean and skin free from dust and dirt, kills Goliath without even drawing blood. There is no violence in this story. 

But our holy book is filled with stories of conflict. They are not there to teach us how to fight but to teach us about ourselves and our relationship with our God. They are there to show us in our brokenness. They are then to show us what happens when we shut God out of the picture and replace him with a superior belief in ourselves. 

So, when people come to me and ask – where is God in all this? I give them an answer rooted in a story of compassion and brokenness. I give them a response that shows how all of our brokenness points only to the need for the cross. I give them a response that acknowledges the power of our holy book to be used as mirror to our brokenness and a reflection of who we can become when we are in step with our creator.  

Like many of you, I love the Bible. But I must admit that I am a real nerd for the books we find in the Hebrew books. The part of the Bible that we call the Old Testament. I love it, because when we stop using it as a series of Sunday School stories we can begin to struggle with the stories of war, violence and the zealous God who remains the same today as he was yesterday and will be tomorrow. 

And one book that does this best is Judges. Judges has it all. It is full of war and violence of all kinds. If I want to know about the complexity of our relationship with our God in times of uncertainty; Judges is the place to go. It is probably the book that most of us would prefer to ignore – we see enough violence on the news at night so why choose to read about it in the Bible. Especially if it brings confusion into our understanding of who God is when God is ultimate and pure love. 

According to the commentary by Clinton McCann. Judges allows us to explore the following issues in a Biblical context: 

• Tension between rival groups 
• Land disputes 
• Uncertainty of gender roles 
• Power-crazy politicians/leaders 
• Abuse (domestic and child) 
• Senseless violence 
• Excessive self-interest 
• Moral confusion 
• Social chaos 

When I look at that list, I see society today. And I feel like we downplay the power of the Bible if we use Judges only for Sunday School stories or we ignore it and put it into the too hard-basket. In fact, Judges is my favourite book because it gives me four central lessons: 

1. Without a relationship with God we are broken 

2. We do not hold the solution to our brokenness no matter how good we are with our brains and with technology 

3. God is the solution 

4. God will hold on and wait for us to return even when we spiral more and more out of control 

The book of Judges is a deep and meaningful challenge to all of us. Believe it or not but Clinton McCann describes the challenge of Judges as a gospel challenge. The promise of the gospel for each of us is life – true beautiful ultimate life in a relationship with our creator. But, as in the garden, this relationship comes with an invitation, we must choose to accept life. The gospel truth is not imposed on us. It is given with open hands. We must take the gift of the gospel. When we don’t our actions of denial choose something else. This leads to death and destruction. You can choose life and you can choose death. Choose life or death – you can’t have both. 

The lesson of Judges for Israel and for the nations that Israel fought against in the promised land is painful one. In Chapter 2 verse 18-19 (DATA leave on until next highlight) 

Whenever the LORD raised up a judge for them, he was with the judge and saved them out of the hands of their enemies as long as the judge lived; for the LORD had compassion on them as they groaned under those who oppressed and afflicted them. But when the judge died, the people returned to ways even more corrupt than those of their fathers, following other gods and serving and worshiping them. They refused to give up their evil practices and stubborn ways. (Jdg 2:18-19) 

We can see this concept of a God of love amongst a broken people in these verses. We can also see the challenge of the people – are they prepared to walk in the life that God has determined for them. And if we were to look at the Hebrew translation all through these verses we would see that a concept of oppression is evident within words such as compassion, groaning, oppression and affliction. God desired to deliver them from their oppression. But then they turned back to it – in worse and worse ways. 

And this spiral of return is like a tornado, it is small at the bottom, but as it spirals round, the rings get wider and wider and wider. It is harder and harder for people to turn back to God. It is harder for people to trust God. In the end, God needs something else. But by the end of the book, the relationship between God and his people is so broken that only the bridge of the cross would ultimately allow for healing and that would start with David. 

Let us see this spiral in action. Here is the first judge – Othniel in Judges 3 verses 9 to 11. His story is told in a mere five verses and if you take the verses out on the corruption of Israel itself; you will find his story is really only two verses long. It is not enough to preach a sermon from and Bibles which give you character profiles will not cover lessons from his life. After all, aside from being the nephew of Caleb, what can we learn? Well there is a lesson, God called him and he acted. It is as simple as that. He did not need to test God, he did not doubt God, he did not need a woman doing what God called him to do. God called him, came upon him and Othniel acted. And then we see God’s desire, we do not serve a God of war. We do not serve a God that calls us to war. We serve a God of peace, because when God’s spirit is in relationship with his people, violence and depravity disappear: 

But when they cried out to the LORD, he raised up for them a deliverer, Othniel son of Kenaz, Caleb's younger brother, who saved them. The Spirit of the LORD came upon him, so that he became Israel's judge and went to war. The LORD gave Cushan-Rishathaim king of Aram into the hands of Othniel, who overpowered him. So the land had peace for forty years, until Othniel son of Kenaz died. (Jdg 3:9-11) 

Then the next Judge Ehud use the gift of being left-handed to deceive and plunge a double-edged sword into the obese stomach of Eglon king of Moab. The story is graphic, and it is hard to garner spiritual truths, but the message is the same of Othniel, when the nation cries out from their oppression, God will act. But most of all the judges of this period, knew their God. They didn’t need persuading – they acted. The same story is evident for Shamgar, the third judge. 

And then in Chapter 4, we get to Deborah. Here we can begin to see that God is challenging gender stereotypes. Israel was a patriarchal world. Men were meant to lead it. In fact, if you read the story closely, Barak was meant to be doing the work of a judge. But he was too busy debating with Deborah as to the facts and even wanted her to accompany him.  There is no quick – Israel cries out for help, God calls a judge and He acts. We do have Israel crying out for help, but there is a domestic dispute going on between Barak and Deborah. In the end, Barak does act but another woman finishes the job with a tent peg. 

So here you can start to see the spiral of a close relationship between Israel and with each judge and God becomes more and more distant. Even when God sends his own angel to Gideon in Chapter 6, Gideon expresses doubt and asks for physical proof. The story is longer, yes. And, as such, many of us know the story of Gideon testing God with a fleece. But just because the story is longer doesn’t mean that Gideon had a better relationship with God than Othneil, Ehud and Shamgar. Rather what it demonstrates is how deeply broken the relationship between God and his people is getting. And this is not because of the choice of God, but the decision of his own people to not believe in the gospel message of life, peace and relationship. 

By the end of the story of Gideon, people are wanting a King. And we need to be clear here, they are not after a leader in a person. They want a King to worship. At this period of time, Kings were more than just an ambassador to a ruling god, they were the embodiment of the god of their nation. To call for a king is to call for a person to worship. It is no surprise, at the end of the story of Gideon and the beginning of the story of his tryant son Abimelech in chapter 9 that we learn that Gideon had another name – Jerub-Baal. This name means ‘Baal will contend’, even Gideon had lost his faith and Abimelech seized the moment to claim kingship, calling on the name of his father Jerub-Baal and murdering his 70 brothers so that he would have no competition.  

Abimelech would rule through terror. He was the Hitler of his time and God would come through, he would speak through people and, again, empower a woman to do the actions that others would be afraid to do at the end of Chapter 9.  

And all through Judges this cyclic theme continues. God desires his people to choose life, but they choose other gods. God allows his people to experience the results of their decision. After some time, they cry out, he delivers them out of love and compassion. After a while, they change their mind, and things get even worse. If this cycle started in Judges, no let’s get this earlier, if this is the cycle that started in the garden when Adam and Eve choose to be as a god rather than walk with God, and if this cycle gets wider and wider every time we as a people journey around it, then no wonder the world is so broken.  

And then we get to the last Judge, Samson. Samson is no Sunday school story. He starts dedicated to God. Again, thanks to a woman listening to God directly and a loving husband believing. It is a story of hope. In fact, all of Judges is a story of hope if you think about it. Any way, they give birth to a son – Samson. In Hebrew, his name means sunlight. In the darkness of this period of history, God would bring a new day. But Samson is a man driven by his hormones – physically and sexually. It is like you are reading a story of a teenager out of control. He is not like Gideon, a man who doubts God, but he is also not like the early judges, a man who trusts God. If anything he appears to manipulate God to get what he wants. But God twists the plot and Samson ends up doing God’s business and in response tells God – you owe me one now dude.  

Samson is the ultimate story of tragedy. And even in his death, he doesn’t see his true purpose as one chosen by God. He doesn’t ask God for vengeance on the Philistines for the oppression of God’s people or for the worship of false Gods. No, in Chapter 16, we still see the self-indulgence of Samson 

Then Samson prayed to the LORD, "O Sovereign LORD, remember me. O God, please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes." (Jdg 16:28) 

And the beauty of this story, is the one of love that is present. Samson was a broken man, just as many of us are broken here today, but even in his brokenness God loved him and was with him. No matter how far this world spirals out of control, God has not given up. God will not give up. 

The final chapters of Judges are sickening. We learn of a nation becoming more and more self-interested and less and less compassionate. We read of whole tribes turning away from God to follow the gods of the land. Just as we might come to church each Sunday just to feel better, feel accepted, relieve feelings of guilt, make some business contacts, or connect with friends. We see a people of God, using their chosen position to get want they want. It is no longer about a relationship with God. It is about God’s people taking what they want out of the relationship.  

We learn of one tribe, Dan, taking land that was not included in the promised land. They took it because they wanted it. The conquest for Dan was no longer about a limited and very small piece of land being set aside for the people of Israel. The conquest for Dan was about empire building, it was colonisation in contemporary sense. Nations taking land because they want it, killing indigenous peoples and making excuses – like this is God’s own gift for us. It is no surprise that in the book of Revelation, Dan is written out of the list of 12 tribes in Revelation 7:4-8. 

And then we finish the story of Judges in complete brokenness. We read of a Levite, a concubine, rape, murder and disembodiment. It is a case of domestic violence at its worse, God’s chosen one, a levite abusing his station, allowing for the abuse of a woman and killing her in response then cutting her up and sending her body parts throughout Israel. This leads to all out civil war. The tribe of Benjamin is reduced to 600 men. Regret settles in, but Benjamin no longer has enough women to procreate and other hapu, the other subtribes of Israel swore an oath that prohibited them to give their daughters in marriage to Benjamin. No longer are the people turning to God, they did as they saw fit, and to fix the problem that had a big party and invited some girls. 

This is the story of Judges; I don’t know if you see it now, but it is the story of our time. And the lessons are simple, if we as a people, only come to God when we need him, we will see the cycle of grief in our life. The things that are slightly broken will be replaced with destroyed and decimated realities. You see Judges is a reflection. God gives us a choice. We only tend to come to him when we need him. He responds because he doesn’t want us in the broken place we have created for ourselves. You can see it here in Judges 10:14-16 

Go and cry out to the gods you have chosen. Let them save you when you are in trouble!" But the Israelites said to the LORD, "We have sinned. Do with us whatever you think best, but please rescue us now." Then they got rid of the foreign gods among them and served the LORD. And he could bear Israel's misery no longer. (Jdg 10:14-16) 

So what does this mean. Well it means this, if you want to look at the reason for the brokenness today in this world – look to Judges. It tells you the simple answer – choose God, choose life or choose something else. But like many of the Hebrew books it is also a book that points to something. The only reason why Judges stops abruptly in verse 25 of Chapter 21… 

In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit. (Jdg 21:25) 

… is because it wants to tell us something. There is hope. The circle can be broken. It will start with David. But it finishes on the cross. It finishes with God bearing our misery literally on his back. It finishes not in the sunlight of Samson, but in the light of his true son. And this is it, in order to understand our need for God and the actions of love beared strongly on the cross, we have to understand that first we are a broken people. I personally can only understand the events of the world today, through the story of Judges. I can only understand events that break people like colonisation, war, abuse and hate crimes, by seeing our brokenness. And I am so grateful that such books exist in the Bible. But most of all, like all good stories, I love how these books finish by leaving us hanging and, in that way, they point to the hope in the hanging Jesus on the cross who represents, through his resurrection, the opportunity for restoration. We don’t have to continue this cliff-hanger of a story, we can make the choice for life, and the choice for a relationship with God.  

No rei ra 

Tena koutou tena koutou tena tatou katoa